THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 SAVE IDLE MOOR THE IDLE LORD

The Thackley Trumpit

( Incorporating ‘The Idle Chatterer’ & ‘The Closing Times’ )

Tel. 07944969335   Email: billco@blueyonder.co.uk

Concreting My Childhood – Save Idle Moor

 By Steve Wilson The Idle Lord

The Bradford Metropolitan district is a large sprawling area not often cited for its beauty. However, some 70% is green space and quite stunning in parts; it’s not all dark satanic mills up here.
This may not be the case if the rampant greed of property developers is allowed to hold sway over the next few years as house builders awake from years of recession.
Ilkley Moor…where locals wait armed with crossbows should Bradford Planners approach…
There are some very desirable outlying areas such as Addingham, Bingley and Ilkley, albeit that if Scotland gets independence, you can bet Ilkley will be hard on their heels.
Inner Bradford – a mix of the good, the bad and the downright ugly – does contain some really nice places to live too. Developers recognise this, hence a plethora of planning applications reflecting the current resurgence in the UK’s mad property market.
Driven by an easing of credit and very short memories, prices are surging once again. 
George Osborne…unlikely to be buying a 3 bedroom semi in Bradford
The politicians tell us they have the current situation under control; this is patently b******s as a modest flicker upwards of interest rates would be seismic. 
Regardless, the quest for attractive land to build on means green spaces    everywhere are under immense threat. 
Spivs and speculators everywhere despite what Uncle Vince says
There are 3 separate planning applications in this part of the city for almost 1,200 new homes. Now we have another proposal for 70 new houses on Idle Moor, to be built on land that was previously a mine. The locals have a case for feeling somewhat shafted.
The land is classed as Urban Green Space and, if opened up, you can bet that subsequent applications will    follow as each field is picked off like a domino effect.
For example, the recent failure of plans to develop a nearby football pitch have temporarily land-locked a brown-field site – the old boiler works – approval of this plan is one more piece in the jigsaw to open this. 
Developers spread like a cancer.
It’s gold rush time again…lets have another crash!
According to protesters there are over 300 houses for sale in Idle & Thackley so 1300 extra houses hardly seem a priority. This is not to count the number of empty homes lying waste, estimated at over 1m nationally.
Local schools are already oversubscribed as are health practices and the roads are jammed so much there is hardly enough space for the local hooligans to try to break their necks doing wheelies on their souped up BMX’s.
The developer – MGL Homes Ltd – is listed in Idle but has little real local     interest other than turning a few quid. The majority shareholder lives in rural Pickering where they are a little more reluctant to concrete green fields. 
A cursory look at the last filed accounts (30/11/12) shows little substance nor evidence of consistent trading. Put bluntly, this is a punt to grab a quick buck and the council should recognise this.
Eric to the rescue?
Of course, protesters largely live in houses built on green fields too so developers will argue their protests are inadmissible; this is missing the point completely. Development should be planned, sustainable and not limitless; clearly the current proposals are not.
Protesters might expect to take comfort in the fact that previous, smaller planning applications have been rejected by the Secretary of State and the reasons for these rejections have not changed. However, the Government’s obsession with new housing suggests not.
Bradford Council has convinced itself that it needs some 40,000 homes over the next decade and, as ever, they are taking a “cut”. Sport & Leisure are demanding a bung of £121k for “the provision of recreation open space and playing fields due to the extra demands placed on the locality by this development.” How will they provide open space when they are concreting it all? This is a blatant lie as the only recreation provided in the area is by private clubs because the council simply has no strategy at all.
It would be another severe beating on the doorstep and a bucket of cold water to wash off the dust before Blue Peter.
I grew up playing on Idle Moor, roaming the fields of the Booth’s farm hoping not to get shot or gored by a bull, coming home black bright like a miner as we played commandos    rolling in the coal dust on the moor, our own Utah Beach. Fortunately, Mr Booth never shot us.
We played King of the Castle on a little hill right where they want to build crappy boxes. It was here that I realised throwing the object of your teenage desires off the top was not a way to her heart. Limbs luckily intact she vanished very quickly mumbling “psycho…”We fumbled in long grass on silly, endless summer days, coming home red-faced and none the wiser. We ran, we hid, we mucked about; sometimes we hit golf balls for as far as we could with no hope of ever finding them but secretly aiming at the cows. We had free space and we loved it, but in these money obsessed times of greed these simple things seem not to matter. To hell with the quality of   people’s lives nor the right to some free space from the claustrophobia of modern life. Finally, one look at the Planning Committee sitting for the next scheduled meeting at Wacky Hall down in Bradford would fill most objectors with dread for there is only one that represents a ward remotely near.
One more nail in the coffin for a part of the city where life is still good.

THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 ECCLESHILL TREATMENT CENTRE

Possible Closure of Eccleshill Treatment Centre

A reader in Idle contacted me last month regarding the closure of  the Eccleshill Treatment Centre and has received the following information and is happy to pass it on to all Trumpit readers.
From: Jeanette Sunderland 
Hello Peter 
I understand that you have rung the office about the Eccleshill Treatment Centre. Please see below the latest info put out be David (about an hour ago). If you want anything else then please don't hesitate to get in touch. Hope all is well. Jeanette
Eccleshill Treatment Centre
Care UK was awarded the contract to provide services at Eccleshill Treatment Centre from July 2010. The Treatent Centre was one of the first Independent Treatment Centres in the country and was established in 2005.
The current contract for the services provided from Eccleshill Treatment Centre started in July 2010 and was awarded to a private company, Care UK, for three years and extended for one year to allow for a new contract to be awarded. Contracts for services for patients in Bradford are awarded by the Clinical Commissioning Groups (CCG’s)  Intensive efforts are being made to ensure that services currently provided by Care UK at the Eccleshill Treatment Centre continue to be provided, either at the Centre by other qualified providers for example by another private contractor or by the National Health Service itself or elsewhere if capacity spare capacity exists.
I have been told that Care UK "are being fantastic with staff" in terms of informing them about what is happening. There still seems to be a lack of understanding about what has happened and why Care UK was not awarded the contract for a further three years. This lack of understanding is not helped by the failure of the CCG to publicly state, in detail, why the contract was not renewed. The CCG state that this failure to provide further details is because of the commercial sensitivity of the information at a time when the CCG is working hard to find alternative providers. This may well be true but it is resulting in not only a degree of suspicion about the motive behind the failure to renew the contract but also a belief by some of the Care UK staff that they are purposely being kept in the dark. At a time when the Care UK staff are fearful of their futures this can only make matters worse for them.
The whole issue was discussed at a meeting of the Council's Health and Social Care Overview and Scrutiny Committee on 7 May. Because of the commercial confidentiality already referred to, the meeting had to go into a private session with the public excluded. In the public session of the meeting it became quite clear that the contract with Care UK has been subsidised with funding that had to be taken elsewhere from the NHS budget. The meeting agreed to receive a report after the 7th July with details of the services that would continue to be provided after the present contract with Care UK came to its end.
Progress by the CCG in ensuring that services continue to be available after the 7th July were reported to a meeting of GPs and Practice Managers on 8th May. It seems that some of the work currently carried out at the Eccleshill Treatment Centre will continue to be carried out there by qualified providers* with some of the other work being carried out elsewhere by existing providers. The CCG gave assurances that the    Eccleshill Treatment Centre will not close. The following services of the Eccleshill Community Hospital Campus are NOT affected by the retendering of services from the Treatment Centre and continue as normal. These are the Eccleshill Community Hospital, Ashcroft Surgery, GP Out of Hours Service, Ear, nose and throat services (ENT), the Community Hospital and the Musculoskeletal (MSK) services.
In Westminster, I have met with the Head of Hospital Inspections for the Care Quality Commission and received reassurances that anyone who takes over these contract would be subject to rigorous monitoring and regulation.
*A qualified provider can either be a part of the National Health Service or a private contractor. Since April 2012, patients have more choice about which health services they can use within the NHS. The Any Qualified Provider (AQP) scheme means that, for some conditions, patients will be able to choose from a range of approved providers, such as hospitals or high street service providers. Patients and GPs can choose a service based on what's important to them – perhaps one that is closer to home, has a shorter waiting list or better outcomes.
With Best Wishes  David Ward MP

Eccleshill Treatment Centre
I have again discussed with the CCG the progress that is being made to protect the services provided at the Eccleshill Treatment Centre (ETC). I have been assured that intensive efforts are being made by the CCG to seek a way forward that involves maximising the provision of NHS services in the ETC when the existing contract with Care UK ends on 7th July.  
All the adverts for Alternative Qualified Providers are now out but there then has to be a four week period so they can write their bids and we will know the level of interest. A tentative expression of interest in taking over the whole of the building has been received from two potential service providers but it would contravene the strict procurement rules to develop these further until the tender period has ended when all expressions of interest can be evaluated.
The building is not owned by the CCG (it is owned by NHS Property Services) and this adds to the complexity of seeking future service providers.
It is important to once again stress that the Community Hospital, Ashcroft GP Surgery & GP out-of-hours service are all unaffected by the changes that are now being considered for the ETC.
The CCG will be shortly providing a more detailed update along with a comprehensive Q&A statement which will be published on their website  www.bradfordcityccg.nhs.uk/ 
With Best Wishes   David Ward MP

Let us all hope this matter will be resolved to the satisfaction of all concerned and the area has its Treatment Centre back in operation as swiftly as possible. Thank you Peter for your efforts in this controversial matter.

THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 ALEX'S CORNER

Alex’s Corner

on Le Tour

This year marks the 101st Tour de France, and also sees it  return to England for the first time in more than 5 years. One of the largest sporting events on the planet, it is expected that around 4 million people in England will be at the side of the route, cheering on their favourites. Even better then, that for the majority of its stay in England, the Tour will be in God’s home county of Yorkshire; the first time ever the tour has come to the north of the country.
The tour will consist of 21 stages, the first three of which will be in England, and 2 of these will be in Yorkshire, and see the riders covering almost 400km in 2 days. Stage 1 will be on the 5th of July and is 191km, beginning in Leeds and ending in Harrogate. If you do intend to go watch the tour on this day, some of the local places it will be going through include Leeds, Otley, Ilkley and Skipton, although transport will be especially busy with people from all over the country attending the event, so if you are interested, the earlier you arrive anywhere on the route, the more likely you are to get a good view. Stage 2 is on the 6th of July, and travels from York to Sheffield. It is approximately 198km long. Sheffield, Huddersfield and Keighley are all on the route for this stage, but again, arrive early no matter where you aim to watch it, as it will   undoubtedly be extremely busy. I think one of the best  moments of these two stages will be the sprint finish into Harrogate to end the 1st Stage, it should be some spectacle!
Over the last few years British cycling has come along in leaps and bounds, with success in the London Olympics, and Sir Bradley Wiggins and Chris Froome winning the Tour de France over the last two years. This has culminated in a much greater interest in cycling over the last year or so, and has also increased the expectancy that it can be won again by British riders. Team Sky will be the ones to watch this year should you be supporting British riders, and can be identified by their black and light blue kit. Hopefully we will see them do well once again.
A few further points which may be of interest. There will be lorries throwing out ‘goodies’ about two hours before the  Peloton (the main body of riders) reaches each destination, so this is another reason to be there early. Also, the trains into the region are only allowing two bicycles as per normal business. Obviously if anyone intends on cycling anywhere at this sort of time, and plans transporting their bike on a train, it will be extremely unlikely that this will end successfully, so be aware that this is the case. All in all though, the event should be enjoyable with the right preparation, and I hope everyone is looking forward to it with as much anticipation as I am.

THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 HEALTH MATTERS - DIFFICULTY SLEEPING

Health Matters - Combating Difficulty Sleeping...

By Consultant Pharmacist - Nick Parmar

Insomnia is difficulty getting to sleep or staying asleep for long enough to feel refreshed the next morning. It's difficult to define what normal sleep is because everyone is different. Your age, lifestyle, environment and diet all play a part in influencing the amount of sleep you need. 
The most common symptoms of insomnia are:
Difficulty falling asleep
Waking up during the night
Waking up early in the morning
Feeling irritable, tired and finding it difficult to function during the day.
It is important to try and identify a cause of the insomnia, that way the cause can be dealt with or avoided in order to prevent insomnia from continuing.
Before resorting to over-the-counter medication or prescription only medication, there are many lifestyle changes that can be made in order to promote healthy sleeping patterns…

Sleep hygiene

There are a variety of different practices that are necessary to have normal, quality nighttime sleep and full daytime alertness.

Why is it important to practice good sleep hygiene?
Sleep hygiene is important for everyone, from childhood through adulthood. A good sleep hygiene routine promotes healthy sleep and daytime alertness. Good sleep hygiene practices can prevent the development of sleep problems and   disorders.

What are some examples of good sleep hygiene?

The most important sleep hygiene measure is to maintain a regular wake and sleep patterns seven days a week. It is also important to spend an appropriate amount of time in bed, not too little, or too excessive. This may vary by individual. 

Good sleep hygiene practices include:

Avoid napping during the day. It can disturb the normal pattern of sleep and wakefulness.

Avoid stimulants such as caffeine, nicotine and alcohol too close to bedtime. While alcohol is well known to speed the onset of sleep, it disrupts sleep in the second half as the body begins to metabolize the alcohol, causing arousal.

Exercise can promote good sleep. Vigorous exercise should be taken in the morning or late afternoon. A relaxing exercise, like yoga, can be done before bed to help initiate a restful night's sleep.

Food be disruptive right before sleep.  Stay away from large meals close to bedtime. Also dietary changes can cause sleep problems, if someone is struggling with a sleep problem, it's not a good time to start experimenting with spicy dishes. And, remember, chocolate has caffeine.

Ensure adequate exposure to natural light. This is particularly important for older people who may not venture outside as frequently as children and adults. Light exposure helps maintain a healthy sleep-wake cycle.

Establish a regular relaxing bedtime routine.

Associate your bed with sleep. It's not a good idea to use your bed to watch TV, listen to the radio, or read.

Self-treatment of insomnia with over-the-counter (OTC) drugs is advisable only for transient or short-term insomnia. OTC products should only be used for a short period of time in   conjunction with changes in sleeping habits. Chronic use of these drugs may result in dependence on them. This creates a situation in which sleep is not possible unless the drug is used.
If lifestyle changes fail to help create a healthy sleeping pattern speak to the Pharmacist regarding other options or to discuss whether speaking to your doctor would be appropriate.

THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 IDLE AND THACKLEY THEATRE GROUP

IDLE AND THACKLEY THEATRE GROUP

As rehearsals for our production of Blackadder Goes Forth get under way, it got me thinking just how many people out there are aware of the existence of our theatre group, and the locality of our “Little Theatre”. We are a small but very talented, versatile group pf people, who work very hard  for most of the year, so we can make contributions to charities. For example, Alyson & Sara, who played the leading rolls in our last production The Odd Couple, and I might add got rave reviews, are this time taking charge of the lighting and sound box for this production, similarly Liam who was in charge of sound and lighting for them is now taking on the part of Blackadder, and Emma who was in the cast is directing the production.
For over 25 years, we have rented the top floor of Idle & Thackley Conservative Club, where over those years we have with the help of many knowledgeable, and experienced people constructed a stage, with real stage curtains, added a fully equipped sound and lighting box, made other rooms into dressing rooms, laid a new floor in the theatre area, built in a kitchen, and added a stairlift and  a ramp from the car park, for easier access for patrons who have difficulty climbing the stairs, and many other things to make sure our audiences have an enjoyable  evening in the theatre in their own area. Our present genius Bob is at the moment turning our stage into a trench somewhere near Passchendaele, in 1917, and I can assure you it will be as realistic as possible. 
Why don’t you come along and see for yourselves. You can visit our website www.ittg.org.uk

THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 JOE'S JOTTINGS

Joe’s Jottings

May on the whole has been a pleasant month with a mixed bag of weather. Sunshine, showers, general rain and lengthy periods of sun. Not always warm, but more importantly very little frost which has allowed the  garden to flourish and a good pace. This last week has been a bit overcast because the weather has been approaching from the continent to the east. We seem to have avoided the run of weather systems from the Atlantic. Which is why I think we may be in for a cracking June and not the washout of the last couple of years. I’m no expert but then again the experts never seem to be right either.
The garden produced its first delight of the season in the shape of massive Rhubarb leaves. The mild winter has allowed the plant to grow to an enormous size with huge leaves. So large in fact that they had begun to sag under the strain of their own weight. There was only one solution to this problem, which was to harvest without delay leaving just enough foliage on the plant to feed itself for the rest of the year. As you will probably be aware The Kitchen Skirt makes a Rhubarb crumble that is divine. She uses an old recipe which includes orange and ginger along with the usual ingredients. For the last three weeks I have been tucking into the crumble with a dollop of clotted cream ice cream. Sadly I’ve eaten it all. Now I’m hoping for a second crop later in the year.
Last month I mentioned young Henry the grandson and how he was starting with the terrible two’s. He has been a good kid overall this month providing much hilarity with his general demeanour and lust for life. He is so keen to learn and copies everything (including things he shouldn’t). He finds slurping tea to be most amusing and I must try to control my swearing in his presence. How come it is they struggle with English but have a perfect grasp of a swear word? To help me in the garden, The Skirt purchased him a junior gardening set which included a fork, trowel, miniature gloves and a small watering can. I was explaining to him about watering plants with his new can. I crouched down and pretended to water myself, rising to my full height and outstretching my arm to imitate a growing plant. Out in the garden we went round putting water on the plants as he had watched Grandad do. He has not grasped the fact that the growing phase doesn’t happen straight away and looked puzzled. So I had him water a bulb in a pot which was on the verge of flowering. His face was a picture three days later when he called to find the plant in full bloom. I would like to think he understood what he had achieved.
The pundits in the newspapers are predicting a massive fruit crop this year due to the mild wet spring with a fair amount of sunshine. I personally agree, massive amounts of blossom on the apples and plumbs. The strawberries, raspberries and  currents are awash with flowers. I  believe it will be a bumper crop.
The Kitchen Skirt was out in all her glory in the hot weather. Lounging on the sunbed in the bikini, Aperol in one hand Hello magazine in the other. Taking up the rays as if she was on a Majorcan beach. I had gone inside to make a pot of tea. From the patio came a blood curdling scream! In rushed The Skirt looking like a drowned rat, wet hair and mascara running down her cheek reminding me of Alice Cooper. Gasping for breath she said “That little beggar has just emptied the watering can over me”. In came young Henry laughing and giggling and said  “GanMa gro” The Skirt was furious. I had to bite my lip to stifle the laughter. The kid is learning!
One of the most important aspects of a gardener’s armoury is access to soil improvers and fertilizers. These can be purchased in packets and bags from most DIY stores and garden centres. However lurking beneath virtually every gardeners feet are creatures busily toiling away improving the soil and enriching the ground with natural fertilizer, I am of course referring to the humble worm.
In every compost heap they tend to arrive and do their work turning waste into  compost along with all the other bugs and bacteria associated with decomposition.
I have been looking at using these wonderful creatures on an industrial scale. This means setting up a wormery. After browsing the tinterweb I have found many companies offering ready to go wormeries and plenty of advice on building cheap ones out of discarded or purchased plastic boxes. Some of the boxes can cost a fortune as they resemble bee hives others are strictly functional, with a tap at the bottom for removing the leachate. Which is the juices secreted by the worms, which in itself is a very strong fertilizer which requires dilution, and if it is to be stored needs to be aerated with air bubbles to prevent bacteria turning it septic.
Most of the bought wormeries come supplied with worms to start the process off, but if you are to make your own then you need to find a reputable supplier of composting worms. There are several types of worms used and each does a separate job in consuming kitchen waste. A good mixture of TIGER WORMS can be bought to get started. They will quickly multiply to take advantage of the food available.
There is a simpler form of wormery which cuts out the   middle man so to speak. The worm Tower feeds the worms in your garden directly and is simple to manufacture.
1. Take a 600mm length of 150mm(6”) PVC pipe
2. Drill 6mm holes at 50mm centres in all but the top 100mm of the pipe. (Making sure the integrity of the pipe is not compromised by drilling too many holes) Alternatively any bucket or container with a large hole in the bottom and 6mm holes in the sides.
3. Bury the pipe in the soil so the top holes are under the surface.
4. Provide a cap for the pipe. A fitted blanking piece or an upturned plant pot to stop vermin consuming the contents
5. Fill the pipe with kitchen waste, cat poo, dog poo, grass cuttings and soft garden waste (weeds etc) and the worms will come and feed distributing the worm cast fertilizer around the tower. Keep topping up the tower as required.
Tiger Worms can be added to kick start the process but are not strictly necessary. If you place several of these towers around the garden you will feed the garden without the need for compost bins, which can take up to a year to compost the waste material.

THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 FUNNIES

Oops!!!

A bloke in a bar was about as drunk as it's possible to get.
A group of guys notice his condition and decided to be good Samaritans and take him home.
First they stand him up to get to his wallet so they can find out where he lives, but he keeps falling down.
They finally get his address from his wallet.  He fell down eight more times on the way to the car, each time with a real thud.
After they get to his house, he falls down another four times getting him to the door.
His wife comes to the door, and one guy says, "We brought your husband home."
His wife asks, "Where's his wheelchair?"

How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity in retirement.

 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars...watch 'em Slow Down!
2. On all your cheque stubs, write 'For Marijuana'!
3. Skip down the street Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
5. Sing Along At The Opera.
6. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
7. When Leaving the Zoo, start Running towards the Car Park, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
8. Tell Your Children over dinner: 'Due to the economy,
we are going to have to let one of you go...
9. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: my favourite.
10. Go to a large Department store’s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out: “THERE IS NO PAPER IN HERE”!

THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 CONRAD HARRISON SIDECAR TT WIN

CONRAD HARRISON WINS ISLE OF MAN SIDECAR TT

Local sidecar racer Conrad Harrison and passenger Mike Aylott on his Printing Roller Services Shelbourne Honda won his first Isle of Man TT after twenty one years going to the Island and competing in the event. It was a popular win in and around the paddock as he has been knocking on the door of victory having finished on the podium for the last four seasons.
In ideal conditions Ben and Tom Birchall took the early lead with Harrison/Aylott in forth behind Holden/Winkle and Molyneux/Ferrance. On the second lap Molyneux/Ferrance took the lead after the Birchall brothers crashed at Black dub. The pairing of Holden and Winkle had taken second place from Harrison and Aylott by less than a second. On the third lap  Molyneux and Ferrance retired at Glen Helen leaving Harrison/Aylott and Holden/Winkle to fight it out over the mountain. Conrad and Mike proved to be the stronger pair recording their fastest lap of the TT at an average 114.674mph which enabled a comfortable win by 17 seconds over John Holden and Andy Winkle. The final place on the podium was taken by Tim Reeves and Gregory Cluze. A fantastic win by the popular Yorkshireman.
It’s been a busy month for Conrad’s son Dean. Dean was competing in the prestigious Vauxhall North West 200 road races in Northern Ireland on his RC Express Racing Kawasaki’s and Mar-Train Yamaha R6. Dean had mixed fortunes at the event with a solid 11th place in the first superbike race and 7th in the Superstock. Using the Stocker Kawasaki ZX-10R he finished a fine eighth place in the final Superbike race. On The Mar-Train R6 Yamaha a disappointing result for Dean as he was forced to retire on the penultimate lap of the first race. At the Pre TT Southern 100 races at The Billown Circuit Dean had a fine win in The Blackfords Pre TT classic on a 750 Kawasaki. Full reports on Dean Harrison and Conrad’s win on the Blogspot. A full report on the TT in next month’s Trumpit after Dean’s strong 8th place finish in the opening Superbike race on his RC Express Racing Kawasaki.

THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 FOR THE LOVE OF FISH AND CHIPS

For the Love of Fish and Chips

A neighbour of ours recently had some visitors from the colonies. Hamilton, Ontario, Canada to be exact. As a former resident of this parish they had returned home to reminisce the past and visit childhood haunts in the area. Carrying on the tradition of her parents and making regular visits to the old country. When they came over one of the treats was to take home to Canada fish and chips. Sheena Hudson and her siblings would wait for their parents to   return with the treat from England. They grew up adoring British fish and chips. Whilst Sheena was here she was a regular patron of Towngate Fisheries at the top of the high street. She gave them a glowing report and ate them on several occasions during the visit. In fact she was so taken by the quality that she decided to take some back to Canada as her parents had done before them. As fish and chips do not taste the same at home and a party was going to be arranged to show the good people of Ontario the glories of British fish and chips. I argued that by the time they got home they would be 1.Cold and 2.Taste awful. Her reply was although they would be not as nice as fresh. Gently warmed up in an oven they would emerge tasting pretty good and would give her friends a good idea how good Idle fish and chips are.

THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 JOE KING

Laugh

 I nearly passed me sweets round !

by Joe King

Lost Wife?From Gwen Cooper

A husband went to the police station to file a "missing person" report for his   missing wife:
Husband :-I lost my wife, she went    shopping & hasn't come back yet.
Inspector :-What is her height?
Husband :-I never checked.
Inspector :-Slim or healthy?
Husband :-Not slim, can be healthy.
Inspector :-Colour of eyes?
Husband :-Never noticed.
Inspector :-Colour of hair?
Husband :-Changes according to season.
Inspector :-What was she wearing?
Husband :-Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.
Inspector :-Was she driving?
Husband :-yes.
Inspector :-colour of the car? . . . . ..
Husband :-black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door....................….and then the husband started crying...
Inspector:-Don't worry sir,.....we will find your car.

No Jews in MexicoAnother from Gwen Cooper

Two old Jewish men, Sid and Abe, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant one day.
Sid asks Abe, "Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born and raised in Mexico?"
Abe replies, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."
When the waiter arrives, Abe asks, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"
The waiter says, "I don't know senor, I ask the cooks.
" He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says, "No senor, the cook say no Mexican Jews."
Abe isn't satisfied and  asks, "Are you absolutely sure?"
The waiter, realizing he is dealing with "Gringos" replies, "I check once again, senor," and goes back into the kitchen.
While the waiter is away, Sid says,
"I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico.  Our people are scattered everywhere."
The waiter returns and says,  "Senor, the head cook, Manuel, he say there is no Mexican Jews."
"Are you certain?" Abe asks again. "I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!"
"Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replies the exasperated waiter.
"All we have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Apple Jews, but no Mexican Jews.

French Furniture

Murphy from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. 
After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which Murphy could not understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She  nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.
They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up. Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.  To this day, Murphy has no idea how  she figured out he was in the  furniture business !!!!!!!

Strip Down

When I was ready to check out and pay for my groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note so I could   complain to my local MP about this unnecessary security rubbish, I did just as he instructed.
After the shrieking and hysteria   finally subsided, I found out he was referring to how I should position my credit card.
Nonetheless, I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions a little clearer for seniors. 

Sunday Clothes

A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction.
'Hello,' said the little boy
'Hi,' replied the little girl.
'Where are you going?' asked the little boy.
'I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home, answered the little girl.
'I'm also on my way home from church. Which church do you go to?' asked the little boy.
'I go to the Baptist church back down the road,' replied the little girl. 'What about you? '
'I go to the Methodist church back at the top of the hill,' replied the little boy.
They discover that they are both going the same way so they decided that they'd walk together.
They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially flooded the road, so there was no way that they could get across to the other side without getting wet.
'If I get my new Sunday dress wet, my Mom's going to skin me alive,' said the little girl.
'My Mum'll tan my hide, too, if I get my new Sunday suit wet,' replied the little boy.
'I'll tell you what I think I'll do,' said the little girl. 'I'm going pull off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across.'
'That's a good idea,' replied the little boy. 'I'm going to do the same thing with my suit.'
So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without getting their clothes wet.
They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before     putting their clothes back on,
when the little boy finally remarked: 
'You know, I never realized before just how much difference there really is between a Baptist and a Methodist?'  

I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.


A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says: "Is this some kind of joke?"

THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 FORMERLY OF THIS PARISH

Formerly of this Parish

 A Blog from John Woods

John, muses on Scottish Independence in his latest blog

The referendum on Scottish Independence draws closer, so does the gap between the No and the Yes camps.

The independence of Scotland from the rest of the UK has raised all kinds of doom-sayers who predict the worst if Scotland break away and yet, if common sense were an option there is no reason not to conceive an arrangement for business as usual. The break up does not make us enemies, it does not force  relocation of industry, it does not deny the full interaction we currently have with other countries in Europe. What it does do is to allow Scotland to collect its own taxes and spend the proceeds as they see fit.

Perhaps it is this aspect that Whitehall is most afraid. With a  cabinet stuffed full of establishment types the trend has always been (except the early post war Attlee years) to favour a policy towards the better off and to marginalise the poor. The current dismantling of the Health Service (with its concurrent handing out lucrative contracts to the city institutions), the cuts to Welfare, the rocketing cost of University Education, the cuts in Legal Aid are all hitting the less well off members of our society, whilst with Private Health Care, affordability to educate engrained in the Public School (Private School) system, (engineered through a tax break or two), the ability to fund legal representation and therefore justice via the pocket book. One could go on and on.England is a country where the aristocracy and the old school tie rule, irrespective of Parliament or Parliamentarians but of course, all the better if the ruling party are stuffed full of Etonians. If Scotland rule themselves we will see, at first hand a significant change of focus. Their Parliament is much more Unitarian, peopled from a much more representative section of Scottish society. They speak the same language as their voters they live amongst them and know their needs. They don't need feedback from 'research groups' to tell them what the populous are thinking, they can ask their neighbours !! 

BLAZING JUNE AT LAST!

This is the latest from Toronto. 

Our intrepid correspondent has come through the winter and pens the following:

We have had such an atrocious and long winter that it's hard to believe spring is actually here and summer waiting on the threshold.  Many people lost plants and trees through the bad weather, and I'm lucky to see my little garden blooming again, as though nothing had  happened.  However, I saw only one each of hyacinth, daffodil and tulip. (Better than nothing). What a pleasure it is to walk outside in the morning sunshine and have breakfast sitting on the patio with its table and lime-green chairs and umbrella. Planting has begun (a few weeks later than usual) and an orange New Guinea impatiens hangs from a bracket, soon to be joined by a couple of companions. Tomorrow an absolute treasure of a landscape gardener will take me to buy topsoil and plants. 

Are you ever struck by coincidences? It amazes me how often in everyday life incidents seem to prove the saying that "it's a small world". For example, I recently went to a funeral at a strange church  - one of the ushers (an older man) was wearing a lapel pin that looked familiar: Whitby Abbey! I should explain that Whitby is a high favourite with myself and family - when I go home I make a beeline for it soonest possible. "Are you from Yorkshire?" I asked "No, Nottingham". Turned out he was a big fan of that totally charming and fascinating town, too. The other day I went to the veterinary hospital and got into conversation with a large, beefy young man (turned out to be from the Middle East) with an enormous tattoo on his ample upper right arm, which, on closer inspection turned out to be St George and the Dragon. I immediately commented on this fact (yes, he did know it was the Patron Saint of England adorning his person) which led to an interesting chat. He was accompanied by a very handsome Husky sled dog. "He's going to Australia", said the young man, indicating his companion, "Whereabouts", I asked. Well, to make a long story short it turned out his family lived in Melbourne, so that's where the doggy was going, (imagine! on such a long flight!) Well, the punchline is that my sister lives there. The husband of a neighbour of mine came from Bradford. I recently chatted at lunch to a lady I had not previously met. I recognised the inimitable "Scouse" accent. "You're from Liverpool", I volunteered. "Well", she said, "I was born in Bradford..."  (I shrieked!) "...but was brought up in Liverpool". So you see, these little snippets do make life more interesting.  Well, to me, anyway.  How about you?

THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 BRIDLEWAYS

Bridleways

By Christine Hardaker

The weather has been up and down since the last Trumpit. We had a heat wave so the horses were able to go out naked! It’s lovely to get their rugs off after a long winter and let them have a good roll to dislodge their dead winter coat and then give them a good groom to get out as much hair as you can. It must feel great for them to be free and unrestricted, to feel the  sunshine and breeze on their backs. But then it was back to the rain and the cold wind, and rugs back on. At least we are on the up and heading for the summer.

Whilst talking about the proposed new developments at Cote Farm, and also the problem with the dangerous    bikers causing a nuisance around the area, the subject of the horse stile on High Busy Lane bridleway came up. Unfortunately a barrier had to be put up to try to deter the bikers. The Rights of Way department contacted me to ask my opinion as the British Horse Society representative for Bradford. I know the BHS policy is to have as few barriers as possible along a bridleway, but if it is really necessary because of unauthorised motorised use, then a horse stile is the preferred option. Someone said though that some bikes were able to get through and so I informed the Rights of Way department and they said they would do their best to come up with a solution that allows legitimate  users through but to block the bikers, apparently it is a delicate balance between the two.

Some riders had reported that the bikers had been trying to scare the horses by revving up their motors when they pass, they wouldn’t feel so clever if someone ended up in hospital because of them! Only this week there has been a news report of a lady in a critical condition in hospital because some young boys thought it was funny to throw stones at her horse. Unfortunately, the horse bolted, she was thrown off and badly injured. Kids you might think they wouldn’t understand the consequences of their actions but adults should be well aware of what could and does happen when they are just “having a lark”.

One of the spin offs of the Birkhill Battle is that the LibDems, along with Friends of Buck Woods and council   departments, were looking into some more tracks in and around Buck Woods. The rights of way department sent me a map with some proposed routes after they had walked them together (I wasn’t invited to walk with them mind you!), to ask my opinion but left it that it would cost money to create these new tracks, so they were going off to try to find some. Don’t hold your breath again.

One of the proposed routes entered the woods opposite Birk hill and continued down to where the open air school was and turns left there and emerges at the end of Thackley Road where the permissive bridleway begins, therefore (they said) creating an off road route between Thackley and Ainsbury Avenue. I had asked at the time why the  barrier opposite Birk Hill Livery couldn’t just be lifted so we could resume riding down that track to join the bridleway lower down the woods, but I didn’t get a response at the time. So I asked the question again, why couldn’t the barrier be lifted, this wouldn’t cost a penny and would still give us the off road track. I received another noncommittal reply not mentioning my proposal so I had to write again, why could it not be opened?

I seem to remember some years ago before the Friends of Buck Woods was formed there was a letter in this Trumpit complaining that kids were pulling trees down and using them as jumps!  Now anyone walking in the woods today and in those times would always come across fallen or felled saplings where the council had done some thinning out, but I doubted very much that anyone had pulled any trees down. As for jumping their ponies over them, well this is something I enjoyed doing when I was a girl, pretending we were at Badminton cross country. It was harmless fun and provided many hours of happy memories for me and my horsey friends. I remember writing back to say it was a harmless pastime for kids, better than them hanging around on street corners or worse still riding motor bikes through the woods. Also, I became involved with rights of way and bridleways groups when I used to find fallen trees and barriers constructed of saplings placed across the tracks we used. One day as I was riding on a fairly densely wooded track, one had been placed just at rider head height which I didn’t see until it nearly hit me in the face and as I managed to duck under it, it fell onto my horses back and startled him! This had been one of many such obstacles I had come across in the woods and rang the council to make a complaint that someone was going to get hurt if they didn’t investigate who was building these barriers. I am told that the barrier building is still happening to this day so obviously it has nothing to do with horse riders, so there shouldn’t be any reason to not   allow riders to use the tracks again. I realise this may not be popular with a few people but I always found that the vast majority of people I met out on rides were happy and genuinely pleased to see a horse, and those that ride out now tell me it is still the same today. The most risk whilst out riding these days is from drivers who seem to be more impatient having to wait behind us when we are forced to use the roads to get to safer tracks. I will be pursuing this more this month.

The grandchildren are getting more confident and loving riding the new pony. He has turned out a brilliant pony for them, seeming to know they are nervous and so being very patient when being asked to go round and round in boring circles whilst they bobble about on his back. I’ve always tried to get them interested whilst they are young but the boys have lost interest as they got older and I didn’t see so much of them but at the moment I have four of the girls and one four year old boy very keen to have regular weekly lessons after school! It’s going to be a busy summer for me and the pony! As usual if you have any horsey comments call or e-mail me.christinehardaker@supanet.com

or mobile 07739708727

THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 GONE FISHIN with Idle and Thackley Angling Association

Gone Fishin...

with Idle and Thackley Angling Association

Committee Match Toms Pond Otley 18.5.14

Pond owner Steve showed the full big weight potential of the venue with a stunning 101lb 13oz winning weight of quality carp on pole fished banded pellet. Frank Johnson was second with 63lb 6oz in the match but won the Committee Trophy also with carp on pole fished meat. Third was Bob Earnshaw with 61lb 13oz on banded pellet and fourth was Richard Thornton 36lb 5oz. The top 3 weights were all higher than the clubs previous highest match top weight record. 

Coarse Season Opens June 16th

The rivers will all reopen to coarse angling on June 16th and Environment Agency bailiffs are usually very active in the first few weeks so don’t get caught out and makes sure you have a valid rod licence. There is a Bradford No 1 members match at Cowthorpe on Sunday June 22nd.

Swainby Open Match Programme 2014

The first match of the new season is on Sunday 29th June when members will be fishing for the E. Laycock Memorial Trophy. Other 2014 match dates are 6th July Wilf Butler Cup (note this date may need to be changed as it clashes with the Tour de France dates), 20th July Frank Thorpe Rose Bowl, 3rd August Old Pals Trophy J. Cragg Mem, 24th August Stanley Wood Shield, 7th Sept Brian      Waddilove Cup, 21st Sept A. Pedley Memorial, 5th Oct Abe Drury Rose Bowl, 19th Oct,  9th Nov, 23rd Nov, 14th Dec and 28th Dec.

Leeds and Liverpool Canal Report

Chance of  Chub from by-wash area below locks. A few Carp and Tench now active above locks particularly first 100 yds above lock and just past the swing bridge       narrows before farm. Bream to 3lb usually feed well between marina mouth and the wides at this time of the year. Best areas for skimmers and perch are off the railings below the locks and opposite the old mill near the Marina. Pike up to 8lb from below the locks. Day tickets £3 Adults with Juniors £1.50 and yearbooks are available from Eccleshill Angling Supplies.  

Contacts- If want any further information or have any  reasonably sensible suggestions contact.

Phone 01274 615016.

Web Site - idleandthackaa.supanet.com.

Email idleandthackaa@supanet.com  

THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 VIEW FROM MUPPET HILL By Waldorf

VIEW FROM MUPPET HILL   By Waldorf 

THACKLEY AFC

Another season comes to an end, one that started so well for Thackley, but now one that has fizzled out like a damp squib. In mid September, the Dennyboys were at the top of the league, opening the season with seven victories. At the end of November they were still in the top two, with matches in hand of most clubs around them, things were going pretty well, and it looked as if this could be the year that Thackley made a serious attempt to win promotion. (Thackley's last real push for promotion was in 1994, when they lost out on being crowned League Champions, on goal difference, to Stocksbridge Park Steels. If they had finished as league leaders at the end of that season, they would not have been promoted, because Dennyfield had not got all the facilities required for the step up to the higher league.) Alas the wheels came off the wagon sort of speak, with just one win during December, they dropped to fifth place in the league. January and February were hit by the weather, and just four matches were possible throughout the two month period. The rot then really started to set in, and since the beginning of March, Thackley have managed just three victories from sixteen games, which is relegation, rather than promotion form. Thackley are the only club in the Northern Counties East League that have remained in the Premier Division since it was formed in 1982. Other teams have come and gone  but only the Dennyboys have  neither been promoted nor relegated during the league's thirty two year existence, and next season will see them make another attempt to move up.   

Thackley finished the season in thirteenth place, they have won 22, drawn 4 and lost 18 of the 44 matches played, accumulating 70 points for the season. Although this is one of the highest points total they have achieved, it is their lowest finishing position in the league since 2008.  

So, Thackley need now to start to plan for next season, and they will be doing that with a new management team. For at the beginning of April they parted company with co managers, Lee Clapham and Dave Morgan. Lee had a disagreement with the committee, and Dave, who for health reasons, was going to leave at the end of the season anyway, also decided to step down. Andy Patterson was initially asked to take charge until the end of the season, but has since been appointed as Manager on a permanent basis. Andy, started his footballing career as a YTS player at Bradford City, he never made a senior appearance but was a regular in the Premier League Reserve Division side. After his release from the Bantams, he came to play at Thackley before moving on to play in the Scottish League. On his return to the area, he worked alongside Mick Watson in charge at Eccleshill United, then at Dennyfield with the Reserves. This season, Patty returned to play a couple of games with the reserves before being asked to take over as first team boss. Assisting Andy, will be Greg Beswick, he has been with York City Academy, and Mick Watson. 

The end of the season brings with it some interesting facts, below are a number concerning local and other clubs in the NCEL from the   current season.

Brighouse Town have finished as NCE League Leaders, being crowned as Champions with two matches remaining. They won 32 of their 44 matches and finished with 101 points, scoring 138 goals on the way. Next year they will be playing in the Northern Premier League (Evo-Stik North).

Winterton Rangers and Lincoln Moorlands Railway will be relegated from the Premier Division. Lincoln have won just 2 of their 44 games, conceded a massive 214 goals (they have a goal difference of -187) and finished with just 8 points. Winterton have fared a little better, winning 5 matches and finishing with 21 points. Long Eaton United will also be leaving the league, transferring to the Midland Football Alliance.   

Wakefield have finished bottom of the Evo-Stik North League and will be relegated. However, they had already resigned from the league some weeks ago because they are moving away from their current home, Wakefield Wildcat's Belle Vue Ground, and going to ground share with AFC Emley. Their new home does not have the correct facilities for the higher league.

Cleethorpes Town and Shaw Lane Aquaforce are to be promoted from the First Division. This means that four clubs will be leaving the league and with only three coming in, the number of teams is reduced from twenty three to twenty two.

Heanor Town player, Kevin Debrouwer has set a new record, being the only player in the NCEL to score over fifty goals in a season. He has netted a total of 56 goals (43 in the league and 13 in the cup). His tally included two four goal hauls and hat tricks in seven other matches.

In their first season in the Premier Division, Albion Sports will finish in a very respectable sixth position, with 80 points. The other Bradford based club in the division is Liversedge, they have struggled a bit this season and they have finished in twentieth position.

Eccleshill United have had an interesting season, they have excelled in Cup competitions as well as just missing out on a promotion place, finishing fourth in the table. Thackley knocked them out of the FA Vase, with the only goal of the game, but in two other competitions they have reached the  final. They won the West Riding County Cup at Valley Parade (forget all that Coral Windows    Stadium malarkey) in April, beating Conference North side Harrogate Town with a penalty in the last minute. To get to that final they had beaten higher ranked teams in all the previous rounds, Armthorpe Welfare, Farsley, Brighouse and  Guiseley, truly a great achievement. They also got through to the final of the NCE League Cup, the competition that Thackley have won for the last two years. Another visit to Valley Parade was their reward, but they could not complete a double, and were somewhat surprisingly beaten by fellow first division side Knaresborough Town, in a game that went to a penalty shoot out. 

Mick Lodge, the Thackley Secretary, has tended his resignation, so the club is desperately seeking a replacement. If you are interested in getting involved with one of Bradford's leading non league football clubs, you can contact Mick at mick.lodge@btinternet.com or ring the club for details. 

Finally, I would like to sign off, by thanking all the supporters that have made it to Dennyfield during the season and look forward to seeing them, and hopefully, a few more next season.