THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 JOE'S JOTTINGS

Joe’s Jottings

May on the whole has been a pleasant month with a mixed bag of weather. Sunshine, showers, general rain and lengthy periods of sun. Not always warm, but more importantly very little frost which has allowed the  garden to flourish and a good pace. This last week has been a bit overcast because the weather has been approaching from the continent to the east. We seem to have avoided the run of weather systems from the Atlantic. Which is why I think we may be in for a cracking June and not the washout of the last couple of years. I’m no expert but then again the experts never seem to be right either.
The garden produced its first delight of the season in the shape of massive Rhubarb leaves. The mild winter has allowed the plant to grow to an enormous size with huge leaves. So large in fact that they had begun to sag under the strain of their own weight. There was only one solution to this problem, which was to harvest without delay leaving just enough foliage on the plant to feed itself for the rest of the year. As you will probably be aware The Kitchen Skirt makes a Rhubarb crumble that is divine. She uses an old recipe which includes orange and ginger along with the usual ingredients. For the last three weeks I have been tucking into the crumble with a dollop of clotted cream ice cream. Sadly I’ve eaten it all. Now I’m hoping for a second crop later in the year.
Last month I mentioned young Henry the grandson and how he was starting with the terrible two’s. He has been a good kid overall this month providing much hilarity with his general demeanour and lust for life. He is so keen to learn and copies everything (including things he shouldn’t). He finds slurping tea to be most amusing and I must try to control my swearing in his presence. How come it is they struggle with English but have a perfect grasp of a swear word? To help me in the garden, The Skirt purchased him a junior gardening set which included a fork, trowel, miniature gloves and a small watering can. I was explaining to him about watering plants with his new can. I crouched down and pretended to water myself, rising to my full height and outstretching my arm to imitate a growing plant. Out in the garden we went round putting water on the plants as he had watched Grandad do. He has not grasped the fact that the growing phase doesn’t happen straight away and looked puzzled. So I had him water a bulb in a pot which was on the verge of flowering. His face was a picture three days later when he called to find the plant in full bloom. I would like to think he understood what he had achieved.
The pundits in the newspapers are predicting a massive fruit crop this year due to the mild wet spring with a fair amount of sunshine. I personally agree, massive amounts of blossom on the apples and plumbs. The strawberries, raspberries and  currents are awash with flowers. I  believe it will be a bumper crop.
The Kitchen Skirt was out in all her glory in the hot weather. Lounging on the sunbed in the bikini, Aperol in one hand Hello magazine in the other. Taking up the rays as if she was on a Majorcan beach. I had gone inside to make a pot of tea. From the patio came a blood curdling scream! In rushed The Skirt looking like a drowned rat, wet hair and mascara running down her cheek reminding me of Alice Cooper. Gasping for breath she said “That little beggar has just emptied the watering can over me”. In came young Henry laughing and giggling and said  “GanMa gro” The Skirt was furious. I had to bite my lip to stifle the laughter. The kid is learning!
One of the most important aspects of a gardener’s armoury is access to soil improvers and fertilizers. These can be purchased in packets and bags from most DIY stores and garden centres. However lurking beneath virtually every gardeners feet are creatures busily toiling away improving the soil and enriching the ground with natural fertilizer, I am of course referring to the humble worm.
In every compost heap they tend to arrive and do their work turning waste into  compost along with all the other bugs and bacteria associated with decomposition.
I have been looking at using these wonderful creatures on an industrial scale. This means setting up a wormery. After browsing the tinterweb I have found many companies offering ready to go wormeries and plenty of advice on building cheap ones out of discarded or purchased plastic boxes. Some of the boxes can cost a fortune as they resemble bee hives others are strictly functional, with a tap at the bottom for removing the leachate. Which is the juices secreted by the worms, which in itself is a very strong fertilizer which requires dilution, and if it is to be stored needs to be aerated with air bubbles to prevent bacteria turning it septic.
Most of the bought wormeries come supplied with worms to start the process off, but if you are to make your own then you need to find a reputable supplier of composting worms. There are several types of worms used and each does a separate job in consuming kitchen waste. A good mixture of TIGER WORMS can be bought to get started. They will quickly multiply to take advantage of the food available.
There is a simpler form of wormery which cuts out the   middle man so to speak. The worm Tower feeds the worms in your garden directly and is simple to manufacture.
1. Take a 600mm length of 150mm(6”) PVC pipe
2. Drill 6mm holes at 50mm centres in all but the top 100mm of the pipe. (Making sure the integrity of the pipe is not compromised by drilling too many holes) Alternatively any bucket or container with a large hole in the bottom and 6mm holes in the sides.
3. Bury the pipe in the soil so the top holes are under the surface.
4. Provide a cap for the pipe. A fitted blanking piece or an upturned plant pot to stop vermin consuming the contents
5. Fill the pipe with kitchen waste, cat poo, dog poo, grass cuttings and soft garden waste (weeds etc) and the worms will come and feed distributing the worm cast fertilizer around the tower. Keep topping up the tower as required.
Tiger Worms can be added to kick start the process but are not strictly necessary. If you place several of these towers around the garden you will feed the garden without the need for compost bins, which can take up to a year to compost the waste material.