THACKLEY TRUMPIT JUNE 2014 FUNNIES

Oops!!!

A bloke in a bar was about as drunk as it's possible to get.
A group of guys notice his condition and decided to be good Samaritans and take him home.
First they stand him up to get to his wallet so they can find out where he lives, but he keeps falling down.
They finally get his address from his wallet.  He fell down eight more times on the way to the car, each time with a real thud.
After they get to his house, he falls down another four times getting him to the door.
His wife comes to the door, and one guy says, "We brought your husband home."
His wife asks, "Where's his wheelchair?"

How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity in retirement.

 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars...watch 'em Slow Down!
2. On all your cheque stubs, write 'For Marijuana'!
3. Skip down the street Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
5. Sing Along At The Opera.
6. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
7. When Leaving the Zoo, start Running towards the Car Park, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
8. Tell Your Children over dinner: 'Due to the economy,
we are going to have to let one of you go...
9. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: my favourite.
10. Go to a large Department store’s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out: “THERE IS NO PAPER IN HERE”!