Joe is unable to
produce any gardening notes this month due to some unexpected circumstances,
but has produced the following little tale, which he hopes will help to make up
for his absence.
ELEPHANT
NOT IN THE ROOM
Whilst walking down
to the pub on Friday night, the rain pounding against my face, coming down like
stair rods and at an angle of forty five degrees, the oncoming headlights
nearly blinding me, reflecting off the
black wet surface of the road, I stepped into the gutter to avoid an
approaching large woman pushing a pram. There are certain sensations I don’t
particularly like, one is the slow creep of water onto the crotch whilst riding
the motorcycle in inclement weather
and the other is provided by leaky boots on same said motorcycle. As I stepped
into the gutter sudden rush of freezing cold swept down my feet to my toes. The
torrent running down the street had overcome the loafers and was now pooling in
my shoes. Needless to say this was not a good start to a Friday night. After
emptying out the shoes and wringing out the socks I made it to the pub with
feet like blocks of ice.
Cursing my situation
I told Ken who promptly started to extract the urine. He then pointed out how
all the gully’s seem to be blocked up these days. Every time it rains, even
lightly, the roads are awash with water of biblical proportions. The water just
rolls over the grates and on down the street. We decided the reason the gullies don’t seem to take the
water anymore is because they are
never cleaned out. When was the last time you saw an “Elephant” and a couple of
guys cleaning the grates. “When I were a lad and all this were fields,” I can
remember the road sweeping machine coming past at least twice a year the gullies would be emptied and the water
would flow.
The oft used cliché “It’s not rocket science”
applies to this problem. It’s not. Let’s start with the gulley pot (grate to
you) It’s main function in life is to trap the small amounts of grit which
accumulate in its catchments,
(usually half the area of road measured between pots, as roads tend to have a crown) It rains, the water
washes the grit and dust into the gully pot. The water in the pot tends to be
still so the grit and dirt settle out of the water to the bottom of the pot.
The water then overflows into the sewer/drain and off to the nearest
watercourse or treatment works. Eventually the grit and muck build up in the
pot until it is full. At this point any debris being flushed down the grate
flows directly over the full pot and straight into the drain. The gully pot is
then effectively useless. The grit and
debris then start to silt up the drains and sewers further down the system,
causing further flow restrictions.
The end result is popped up manhole
covers, spilling raw sewage everywhere, small lakes appearing at the sides of
the road (great for soaking pedestrians)
and flooding of low lying property. There is a simple solution to this problem!
Regular maintenance! If you notice any non-functioning grates let us know and
we will bug the council. Better still ring the council yourself and let the
useless cretins know we are aware.
