Monday, 21 April 2014

THACKLEY TRUMPIT APRIL 2014 ELEPHANT NOT IN THE ROOM

 Joe’s Jottings

Joe is unable to produce any gardening notes this month due to some unexpected circumstances, but has produced the following little tale, which he hopes will help to make up for his absence.
ELEPHANT NOT IN THE ROOM
Whilst walking down to the pub on Friday night, the rain pounding against my face, coming down like stair rods and at an angle of forty five degrees, the oncoming headlights nearly blinding me,  reflecting off the black wet surface of the road, I stepped into the gutter to avoid an approaching large woman pushing a pram. There are certain sensations I don’t particularly like, one is the slow creep of water onto the crotch whilst riding the motorcycle in inclement weather and the other is provided by leaky boots on same said motorcycle. As I stepped into the gutter sudden rush of freezing cold swept down my feet to my toes. The torrent running down the street had overcome the loafers and was now pooling in my shoes. Needless to say this was not a good start to a Friday night. After emptying out the shoes and wringing out the socks I made it to the pub with feet like blocks of ice.
Cursing my situation I told Ken who promptly started to extract the urine. He then pointed out how all the gully’s seem to be blocked up these days. Every time it rains, even lightly, the roads are awash with water of biblical proportions. The water just rolls over the grates and on down the street. We decided the reason the gullies don’t seem to take the water anymore is because they are never cleaned out. When was the last time you saw an “Elephant” and a couple of guys cleaning the grates. “When I were a lad and all this were fields,” I can remember the road sweeping machine coming past at least twice a year the gullies would be emptied and the water would flow.

The oft used cliché “It’s not rocket science” applies to this problem. It’s not. Let’s start with the gulley pot (grate to you) It’s main function in life is to trap the small amounts of grit which accumulate in its catchments, (usually half the area of road measured between pots, as roads tend to have a crown) It rains, the water washes the grit and dust into the gully pot. The water in the pot tends to be still so the grit and dirt settle out of the water to the bottom of the pot. The water then overflows into the sewer/drain and off to the nearest watercourse or treatment works. Eventually the grit and muck build up in the pot until it is full. At this point any debris being flushed down the grate flows directly over the full pot and straight into the drain. The gully pot is then   effectively useless. The grit and debris then start to silt up the drains and sewers further down the system, causing further flow restrictions. The end result is popped up manhole covers, spilling raw sewage everywhere, small lakes appearing at the sides of the road (great for soaking pedestrians) and flooding of low lying property. There is a simple solution to this problem! Regular maintenance! If you notice any non-functioning grates let us know and we will bug the council. Better still ring the council yourself and let the useless cretins know we are aware.

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