THACKLEY TRUMPIT APRIL 2014 THE IDLE LORD

The Idle Lord Brings his Blog to ‘Trumpit’ Readers,

(With no apologies to sensitive ears)

I am a Bradfordian, born and bred, still living in this tired old place although long since able to admit to being proud to do so.

It’s my home and yet admitting to this has, for many years now, opened me and countless others up to much lampooning and the occasional dose of pity.

The city is like a fallen beauty queen, it’s best features ravaged by time, neglect and sometimes sheer bad fortune. The belle of the ball stands fallen cowering under pitiful glances from cocky nearby upstarts.

And yet, whisper it quietly, the old girl may be stirring back to life with a facelift and an injection of fresh confidence; could she swagger again?

Bulldozers and Concrete

For as long as I have been alive the city has been in some state of decline.

From the madness of the Sixties, when much of it’s heritage was bulldozed and replaced with an ugly concrete Legoland, through to the slow death of it’s once world famous textile industry.

Wool generated much of the wealth that built Bradford and many surrounding   areas for that matter, but we gave away our skills in exchange for cheap tat from the Far East.

When M&S finally gave up the ghost of supporting UK textiles in the early 1990s the end was in sight for most major      producers in Bradford.

The mills had also been a major factor behind mass immigration post World War Two, although this was not a new concept to Bradford. With those jobs now disappearing, Bradford had its very own issues to confront.

Politicians, choked on political correctness, ran for cover and any sensible debate on multi-culturalism was impossible.

Nadir– Racial Tensions

The pot simmered…and simmered.

The nadir surely had to be the riots of 2001 when anyone who still refused to acknowledge that there were racial      tensions in the city had to face reality, however unpalatable.

And yet these strains have existed since the beginning of mankind; this is not  Bradford’s dilemma to solve nor is the city unique but burying the issue simply stoked up the fires.

As the city burned, confidence vanished, investors fled and we hung our heads like a pariah in the shadow of our brassy neighbour Leeds, gleefully sucking in new cash, desperate to become the London of the North.

Bradford, with it’s begging bowl, looked down and out.

False Promises

Years of false promises and some plainly daft schemes followed; the city seemed doomed to remain a laughing stock, an image perpetuated by a hopeless Council seemingly in awe of anything offered, however appalling.

We had numerous agencies foisted on us and plans from a deranged Southern architect to turn the city  centre into a Thunderbirds set.

The city lumbered from one bad news day to another culminating with the farce of the hole in the ground when plans for a new shopping centre    simply came to a stop, sadly after the demolishing of what was to be       replaced.

At last though, the Westfield shopping centre has started to rise from the ground, albeit some eight years late and with it will surely come some   renewed sense of place.

Bradford may be ugly in places but, luckily, it is big and ugly and retailers cannot ignore size. However, what becomes of the rest of the city centre post Westfield is anybody’s guess at present.

The only plan the think tank in City Hall appear to have with regard to the current shopping core is to put down new paving flags. With the vision of a canary in a coal mine they stick their heads in thick, wet sand again.

Bradford needs bold and achievable vision and whilst Westfield is a start, there is a long way to go.

Odeon Plans

The iconic, dare I say it, indestructible Odeon building lives on following news last week that two organisations remain to battle it out to win the right to redevelop this almost fifteen years since the doors shut.

Plans, led by people not councillors or MPs, to save the Odeon have    seemingly overcome the Council’s bungled attempts to bulldoze it so they could build Toy Town, clearly designed by an three year old on acid.

Bradford One and Bradford Live’s separate bids broadly centre around creating a live music venue; One offers a multi-purpose, cultural venue whilst Live’s offer is that of a commercially-run, live performance venue.

As both applicants know though, these are very early days and  Bradford has a recent history     littered with grand plans that came to nothing leaving a population somewhat cynical.

Those that remain sceptical may require a leap of faith but, should this come off, Bradford will have an entertainments corner to be proud of and with architecture of stand out quality.

It really is worth clinging to this dream and this time Leeds – snazzy new Arena et al – will have little to match this. Hell, we may even get a sushi bar!

The single biggest threat here could well be that both groups fail to see that a combined bid,harnessing the best of both ideas, would have the best chance of   becoming a reality.

This is, after all, about Bradford and not the singular dreams of individuals, however noble their efforts so far. That two groups have achieved so much more than our elected lame brains says it all.

Collaboration and co-operation would ensure this wonderful    building can finally come back to life at the heart of the city and   without doubt, quality retail and  entertainments suck in people and spending power.

Bradford has a chance…at long last.

Cash Strapped

Meanwhile, the Council that has no cash, is rumoured to be planning to build a brand new swimming pool in the city centre on a scale to get Lord Coe and his Olympic minions slavering.

However, in these cash-strapped times surely we already have one in front of City Hall?

Not only is Bradford at last in danger of getting some shops above ground, there is an incredible scheme being considered to create an underground market   featuring a Victorian-style complex of shops, bars and restaurants.

A £1m price tag is being privately funded with the aim of attracting young entrepreneurs.

The Tunnel is the working name for the development and received a visit from Cllr Green, Leader of the Overground recently, doubtless keen to see why there was more activity   under than above ground.

Inspecting the access he declared that Bradford would develop this link with the Channel Tunnel to make the onward journeys from Eastern Europe and beyond that much quicker.

He also declined to comment on plans for an escape hatch with access for local councillors should the Westfield shopping complex go tits up again.

New Idle & District

The Central Office of Command – T’Council – have also announced that further to their plans to concrete the remaining green fields of North Bradford they are now to build even more houses…on the roads.

Cars will become a thing of the past and the air will be sweet and pure, like the space between the ears of most councillors on the planning committee.

Furthermore, Idle, Thackley and Wrose will be merged into a new  Utopia named after the spiritual leader of T’Council and renamed Greenland.

There will be no more need for the Green Party and all their votes will automatically count towards the re-election of the spiritual leader in the spirit of fairness.

And finally, all middle aged men in Greenland will be forced to wear silly earrings as a mark of devotion to the great Leader.

Taken in the age of free love, the Swinging Sixties, this is a great picture; note that for £12 you could also have a “Quickie”. It’s never been that cheap at my local.

Take a look at the marvellous All About Bradford Facebook page for more pictures of a once great city.

Anybody unfamiliar with Bradford’s recent troubled history may get some sense of where it all started to go wrong from pictures like the above.

Contrast the ugly concrete block – long since gone – that dominates all around. One can only conclude that the architects drew this one up blindfold.

If Bradford has anything worth crowing about still it has to be some of the finest Victorian architecture around and, whilst you cannot save everything, what went on in the Sixties was unforgivable.

What we don’t need is London based “modernism” (Yorkshire interpretation = overpriced, poncy s***) dreamt up by architects up their own fat a****…there…that feels much better!

The Idle Lord

Sorry you can’t read the boards in the background, lack of space will just not allow us to make the pics any larger. Still it is as well, it’s just possible you could be one of the contestants, now that would be embarrassing. Ed